Just Admit You Don’t Care If We Die

Just Admit You Don’t Care If We Die

Written by J.K. Williams

Seriously, Australia! Could our politicians, reporters, magistrates, police officers and the adult male members of the public all take a stand, and in unison, repeat after me – “I DO NOT CARE ABOUT DEAD WOMEN AND CHILDREN!”

What? Does that offend you? Do you immediately scoff and think “Well, that’s awfully judgemental. I’m sure plenty of them care about women and children (and men!!!!) and don’t want them to die!” 

But, do they really care? Do you really care? 

Don’t we just have to look at the recent headlines about the horrific murder of Hannah Clarke and her three children, the recent comments from Queensland Detective Inspector Mark Thompson or to the increasing annual rates of dead women, children and men killed by violent males to see the obvious lack of concern? *

If politicians, police officers, media agencies, magistrates and all men genuinely cared, women and children wouldn’t be dying from male violence as often as we are. Heck, I dare say we wouldn’t be dying from male violence at all. If those people truly cared, our communities and social structures would be very different. They’d look, feel and work opposite to how almost everything works now.

Male violence against women (MVAW) isn’t always about assault, rape or murder….

The ways in which girls and women are objectified, dismissed, neglected, harassed, silenced and abused seem to be endless. Girls and women have always been objectified in books, magazines, advertisements, tv shows and movies, and we have been overlooked and erased from our very own archived history. Black and Indigenous girls and women have suffered and have been erased even more so than white women. 

Our body parts are commodified. Archaic beliefs are held about our natural bodily functions, and unless you are a female, the full extent of the brutal truth about how girls and women are viewed, spoken about and treated has been hidden from you. This steady erosion of our humanness has created a world where, for the most part, we are treated like objects and not like living human beings. (Go figure!?) 

The problem is, it’s all quite natural to us now.

Right here, right now….

I assure you that there are hundreds of thousands of women and children in Western Australia (and hundreds of thousands more across Australia and in other countries) suffering in silence in their homes due to abuse from the adult male in the home, and many times, from older male youth members of the family.

I promise you that hundreds of thousands of women in Western Australia are being neglected, misdiagnosed, lied to and assaulted by the male medical professionals they are in the care of. They’re being silenced by bosses, husbands and strangers.

I guarantee you that hundreds of thousands of girls in WA are being sexually molested, assaulted and raped by their fathers, brothers, cousins, Uncles and the males in their churches, daycares and schools. They’re being objectified and humiliated by their peers.

There are tens of thousands of WA girls and women being objectified, sexualised, raped and trafficked through different forms of “sex work” and pornography.

This is happening all around you. This is happening on the street where you live. This is happening on the street where you work and the street where you worship. This is happening in the restaurants and bars you hang out in. This is happening every day, whether or not it’s being reported to police. Women are quietly congregating all around you to talk, vent, scream and cry, and to console one another and support each other through shared, but individual, traumas. 

This is your community. This is your culture. This is your state. This is your country.

You can get angry about it and puff your chest and dismiss all of this as hogwash or horse shit, but it won’t change our reality

If the people ‘in power’ genuinely cared about all of the women and children being controlled, neglected, assaulted, abused, raped, trafficked and killed, everything we know about how our society works would be different.

Advertisements would be different.

Funding for programs would be different.

Laws would be different.

Judicial processes would be different.

How we interact with one another and how we function on a daily basis as a community would be entirely different.

Our homes and neighbourhoods would be different.

Our educational processes and systems would be different.

“Entertainment” would be different.

Girls and women would be protected, exalted and cherished.

Women would be empowered, not oppressed, and hold power within the homestead and within business and politics. *

True equality and equity could actually exist….

The feminine is supreme….

I do not mean lipstick and dresses, or solely the ability to bare children. The “feminine” I speak of, the “feminine” I know and recognise in other women is nurturing, empathetic, compassionate, fair, powerful, wise, firm, rational and just. The feminine is supreme. Radical feminism recognises this. Radical feminists know what is lacking and what is needed in our communities, schools, workplaces and in our homes. Basically, women know what girls and women need/don’t need.

We know what the problem is….

Set aside what I said about radical feminism. You don’t have to agree with me on that point right now. Regardless of your views on feminism, there are thousands of studies, papers and forums about the ‘issue’ of MVAW, and there are Women’s Health Packages and specific policies and laws meant to prevent and/or address this “issue.” There are also ads, programs and campaigns etc. So it’s a fair call to say that we shouldn’t still be dealing with this problem, right?

Yet, women and girls continue to objectified, silenced, harassed, sexualised, neglected, assaulted, raped and killed. Every time another woman, child or man is hurt or dies due to male violence, people always ask what else can be done to end this horrific problem. We keep having the same conversations and we still use the same old & ineffective policies and tactics. Our politicians continue to serve us word salads instead of radical, transformative and effective laws, policies and protections. Word salads instead of action. 

So, what makes this publication different to some others? 

Well, I have spent some time researching, thinking and writing. I’ve also accumulated over 30 years of first-hand experience with sexism and misogyny along with over 10 years of first-hand experience with male violence in different places, times and scenarios influenced by a range of circumstances and factors.

And….I’ve put a list of demands together. I’ve based this list of demands on valuable, credible information and references as well as my own experiences and conversations, and the collective, historical experiences of other members of the sex class I belong to. I’ve included excellent resources, too.

This list of demands is a direct message to our Federal and State governments, all media agencies and reporters in Australia, all medical professionals, all State and Federal Police Officers and Detectives, all Australian Magistrates and all Family Court staff and every single adult male in Australia.

Our Demands….


– This deadly problem shouldn’t be referred to as “domestic violence” anymore. We can’t immediately change the definition and legal categorisation, but we must change how we talk about it and refer to it. Femicide/male violence against women (MVAW)/terrorism of women and children – are all more accurate terms.

– Along with this, the media must be held accountable regarding their duty of care to the public when reporting on matters of MVAW. Publications must be held to the mandatory standards and guidelines of this country.

• Based on the Australian Press Council’s ‘Statements of Principles’, Australian publications are failing to adhere to at least two key principles:*

1. Ensure that factual material in news reports and elsewhere is accurate and not misleading, and is distinguishable from other material such as opinion.

6. Avoid causing or contributing materially to substantial offence, distress or prejudice, or a substantial risk to health or safety, unless doing so is sufficiently in the public interest.

• According to the APC’s Advisory Guideline on Family and Domestic Violence Reporting, they are failing to meet numerous guidelines that must be adhered to:*


The safety and well-being of those affected by family violence must be the primary consideration. Publications should not publish information that could cause or contribute to the risk of harm, offence or distress. Survivors of family violence often comment that their pain and suffering was exacerbated by media coverage. In some circumstances, it may not be safe, appropriate or legal to use real names or other identifying information.”


Reporting of family violence should try not to blame a person affected by the violence or suggest that the person somehow enabled the violence or could have avoided it. Publications should also avoid placing undue emphasis on the characteristics or surroundings of the victim, or implying that such things contributed to the family violence, unless doing so is essential to the narrative and sufficiently in the public interest. Use of the active voice in relation to the perpetrator will help avoid placing undue emphasis on the person affected by family violence. For example: “Police charged a 38-year-old Melbourne man with the murder of a 36-year-old woman”, as opposed to, e.g. “A 36- year-old woman was murdered and a 38-year-old Melbourne man has been charged”.”

“Context and content

The context and complexities of family violence should also be key considerations, such as when an alleged perpetrator may have a mental illness. Publications should note any such factors when it is warranted in a particular case and in the public interest. Care also should be taken to avoid casual stigmatisation, such as by stating or implying that the violence was “caused” by a person’s mental illness or culture.”

“Words matter. Publications should be mindful of the language they use and try to avoid terms that tend to trivialise, demean or inadvertently excuse family violence, such as “a domestic”, “a domestic dispute” or “a troubled marriage”. Where it is lawful to do so, the relationships of the people involved should be described as accurately and precisely as possible.”

“In addition to reporting particular incidents, journalists can play a critical role in deepening readers’ understanding about family violence by referring to resources such as official statistics, peer- reviewed research, and experts, such as domestic violence counsellors and survivors.”

“Publications should also be aware of the potential impact of story layout, headlines and surrounding material (such as advertisements) that may be insensitive or jarring in the circumstances.”

– We demand better from the Australian media.

– We expect the government and police/judicial system to back us up on that.


– Mandatory incarceration for violent adult males. Whether it’s a king hit in the city or beating their female partner or their kids, they must be locked up for a minimum of 14 days and a maximum of 30, with/without charges being laid. This is when there is physical evidence of violence being perpetrated. (Witnesses, bruising/bleeding, cctv footage, ongoing police involvement, previous Report(s) to Police, Restraining Order(s) or other Court Order(s) etc.)

This gives the men time to calm down and gives the women (and kids) time to figure out an exit plan, and for most victims of MVAW, this will give them time to de-condition themselves, for lack of a better term, and discover/realise that they don’t want to stay in that relationship.

With this process, there must be initiatives to introduce effective and proven strategies in to our jails and prisons to immediately begin educating and rehabilitating perpetrators of violence to lower the probability of them reoffending. **

Ideally, we would have new and specific clinical facilities to house and rehabilitate these violent offenders. There is reason to believe that rehab programs set in the environment of a correctional facility are not as effective as they need to be. Regardless of where these violent offenders are housed during their required stint in some form of temporary removal from their community, the focus must be on effective rehabilitation to lower the risk of reoffending.


– More government funding for men’s and women’s crisis counselling (with the aim of making it entirely free of charge to patients).

– More than 10 bulk billed visits per year to see a mental health professional are needed. We demand at least 24 bulk billed appointments per calendar year for youth and adults on Mental Health Care Plans.


– More government funding for women’s refuges, with the aim of there being more facilities and each facility being more efficiently staffed and more well-rounded with the services and support they can give. 


– New and specific funding for women’s and children’s programs and facilities that can mimic the Women’s Police Stations, and relevant programs& policies, that are having great success aiding in lowering rates of violence against women and children in Argentina.*

#6- (this is for everyone)

– Normalise interference, intervention and involvement in families and households that have a problem with violence or control. Normalise checking in on them and normalise awareness of their situation amongst the community. Normalise direct interference and immediate interruption and intervention of controlling and violent men. Normalise public conversations about the violence you witness in your community and let’s normalise supportive rehabilitation of violent males, whether they are a child, teen or adult.


– We want our court systems; our magistrates, bailiffs and clerks, to favour women and children in all matters of “family violence.” A core value of any justice system should be to protect the most vulnerable members of our society. More focus needs to be on the facts and statistics of MVAW and “family violence,” and assessments for determining authenticity of the threat of violence for an individual victim need to be based on those facts and statistics. ** This should translate in to efficient and accurate assessments for women and children, in lieu of evidence, so they can receive protection and assistance. **


– New and specific funding for specially tailored recreational AND sports programs, facilities and events for all males and females aged between 12 and 17.


– New and specific funding for specially tailored mental health programs and educational-based programs and courses for “at risk” males aged between 12 and 17. These should be available at no cost to families with “at risk” male teenagers in the home.

At risk = (but is not limited to)

– struggling in school (socially and/or academically)

– engaging in verbal harassment or abuse at school or at home

– engaging in violent behaviour of any kind

– police involvement at any level

– if Restraining Orders or other Court Orders are in effect or have previously been in affect

– if there is any history of controlling behaviour, verbal, physical or sexual abuse for either parent, whether biological (and not living in the home) and/or step-parents/guardians living in the home with the male youth.


– New and specific funding for specially tailored mental health programs and educational-based programs and courses for “at risk” females aged between 12 and 17. These should be available at no cost to families with female teenagers in the home that are “at risk” of becoming a victim to male violence. 

At risk = (but is not limited to) 

– struggling in school (socially and/or academically)

– withdrawing from friends, school, social activities, sports etc. 

– engaging in self-destructive/harmful behaviour of any kind 

– police involvement at any level

– if Restraining Orders or other Court Orders are in effect or have previously been in affect

– if there is any history of controlling behaviour, verbal, physical or sexual abuse for either parent, whether biological (and living/not living in the home) and/or step-parents/guardians living in the home with the female youth.

Our demands are reasonable and achievable. 

Now, if you’re still reading – great! There is a lot to ‘digest’ so I will wrap this up, but before I do….

I am inclined to acknowledge the role that industrialisation/capitalism plays in all of this. I could write for hours about the reasons why capitalism is a part of a lot of problems, but I want readers to really reflect on what I’ve put together here. I don’t want to overwhelm you. So, for now, I’ll just say that, in my opinion, the most obvious way that capitalism fuels stress ➡️ poor mental health ➡️ aggression ➡️ violence (a cycle of violence) is through the absolute and oppressive necessity to work, in order to live. That correlation may catch some readers off-guard, and that’s ok.

Working for an income is the only way we know to live, to survive. I find that heartbreakingly sad and infuriating. This earth was meant to be enjoyed, cherished and appreciated, but we have very little time for that. We have so little time for ourselves. The overwhelming majority of us have jobs and that removes us from so much and creates so much stress, pressure and uncertainty. Not to mention that we are becoming increasingly aware of how destructive our existence on this earth has been, which, personally, adds to my anger and poor mental health regarding the inability to live as I wish that I, and my family, could live. The way I wish we all could live. 

Do you ever sit back and imagine what life could be like if we didn’t have such a dependence on the cycle of money in our society? Do you ever imagine a world without corporate greed and destruction? One without rampant inequalities and preventable horrors? It might be really difficult to imagine, because that’s how far we have moved away from that kind of existence and from that kind of connection with our world, our surroundings and with each other. This underlying current that runs through each of us as individuals, and through our society as a whole, may often be the fuel for already existing micro-aggressions. 

In closing….

I know. It’s complex. It seems so massive and, to some, impossible to change all of the engrained beliefs, traditions, behaviours and policies in our society and within our homes, schools and courts etc., but we must. Politicians, reporters & journalists, Magistrates & Police Officers and the men in our communities must pay attention. Listen (and read). We are literally spelling it out for you. Starting with changing the way we view, speak about and treat the majority of the world’s population (which are girls and women) is not only a necessity, it’s a good start at healing our entire society as a whole. It can be done. It will be done. 

Written by J.K. Williams 

February 24, 2020

This work is licensed under the Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license. Copyright © 2020

References and resources –

*Recent headlines and comments regarding the tragic murders of Hannah Clarke and her three children, and rates of male violence in Australia: 





* Women would hold power within the homestead and within business and politics: Believe it or not, there are examples of tribes, communities and cultures that function just like that. They cherish and exalt female members of society. The women hold the power of decision making amongst their tribe/community. (there are also examples of what happens when women are severely oppressed) 

History of feminist-based civil disobedience and direct action (starting at page 109)

Gulabi Gang: https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2014/02/gulabi-gang-indias-women-warrriors-201422610320612382.html


Equality for Women = Prosperity for All: https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Equality_for_Women_Prosperity_for_All.html?id=zmtuDwAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description&redir_esc=y

Akashinga: [Empowering Female Fighters] – https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-28/akashinga-the-female-fighters-protecting-wildlife-in-zimbabwe/10418542

* APC Advisory Guidelines: https://www.presscouncil.org.au/advisory-guidelines/

* APC Advisory Guideline on Family and Domestic Violence Reporting: https://www.presscouncil.org.au/uploads/52321/ufiles/Guidelines/Advisory_Guideline_on_Family_and_Domestic_Violence_Reporting.pdf

** Strategies for the education and rehabilitation of male perpetrators of violence. Examples: 


– Change the Story: A shared framework for the primary prevention of violence against women and their children in Australia – https://www.ourwatch.org.au/getmedia/0aa0109b-6b03-43f2-85fe-a9f5ec92ae4e/Change-the-story-framework-prevent-violence-women-children-AA-new.pdf.aspx

– Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Why_Does_He_Do_That.html?id=azvHexd1g1YC&source=kp_book_description&redir_esc=y

– Coercive Control, Laura Richards:



* Women’s Police Stations in Argentina: https://eprints.qut.edu.au/127088/

Other relevant information and resources 

If you do care, take action now: https://fair-agenda.good.do/asaferfuture/email/




Prison-based correctional rehabilitation: An overview of intensive interventions for moderate to high-risk offenders [in Australia]: https://aic.gov.au/publications/tandi/tandi412

VIOLENT OFFENDER TREATMENT EFFECTIVENESS: WHAT WE KNOW AND WHERE TO FROM HERE: https://www.div12.org/violent-offender-treatment-effectiveness-what-we-know-and-where-to-from-here/

Reclaim the Night/Take Back the Night – https://domesticviolenceservice.org.au/a-history-of-reclaim-the-night/

Thank you to the radical feminists that helped me with some of the references and resources. 

This work is licensed under the Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license. Copyright © 2020

If you need help, please contact one of the resources below, and/or reach out to trusted family and/or friends. 


The Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline is a state wide 24 hour service. This service provides support and counselling for women experiencing family and domestic violence. This includes phone counselling, information and advice, referral to local advocacy and support services, liaison with police if necessary and support in escaping situations of family and domestic violence. The service can refer women to safe accommodation if required. A telephone based interpreting service is available if required. 

Telephone (08) 9223 1188

Free call 1800 007 339

In an emergency – if someone is in immediate danger – call the police on 000 now.

Here is a link to a thorough list of a range of numbers, services, hotlines and websites.